U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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