i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.