I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.