you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
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she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
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think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
its like you know when i get waxed