I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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