we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
