either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
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