After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
