Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
