I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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