why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
