Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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