My nipple is on Facebook.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
i drank out of a bidet.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize