You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I think my vagina is haunted
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
