it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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