The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
i drank out of a bidet.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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