Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
