): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Randomize
