I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
