So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
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