Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
