ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
