u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
