he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
