I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
