Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
