You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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