i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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