I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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