He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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