i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you didnt know i had herpes?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize