God, you're like boner-b-gone
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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