Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Sober January is a disaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
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