Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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