Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
The uberlube is also flammable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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