I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
bring money and cleavage
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
