This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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