im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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