from now on my penis is your penis
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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