I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
you didnt know i had herpes?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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