YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
