He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
