Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
