There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
He did a backflip because drugs
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
