Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
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she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
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I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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