I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I party with great urgency now.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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