wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Help. Why am I so naked?
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