Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
