I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
