do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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