But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
sarcasm needs its own font
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
