It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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