you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
