he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
