Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
