Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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