Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
