you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
