Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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