Need sex. Gaining weight.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
